ACHIEVE Parent Training Curriculum
Introduction to Parent Training
Purpose and Expectations
ABOUT THIS LESSON
As a busy parent, adding one more thing to your to-do list feels like the least helpful thing your BCBA® can do. But without a doubt, ABA is far more effective when parents learn to use some of the same strategies at home. You don't need to become an ABA professional to learn the best ways to consistently respond to your child.
Once you get comfortable with these strategies it can even be fun to play and interact with your child as she builds the skills you know she needs.
Download the companion guide and use it to follow along with the video.
Scope and Structure
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ABOUT THIS LESSON
ABA is effective because of its individualized approach. While parent training should cover important behavior analytic principles, it should also specifically relate to your child’s needs. These lessons provide you with the tools you need to understand your child’s behavior, teach important skills, and help him succeed in all areas of his life.
BUT I JUST WANT TO BEA PARENT!
It can be tough to take on the work of learning ABA. It's a brand-new way of thinking and is likely different from the way you were raised. But you might be using ABA strategies already without even knowing it!
The BCBA® won't train you to become a Registered Behavior Technician® but will teach you many of the basics that RBTs® understand.
You don't need to be trained as a professional, just understand how your response to behavior can make it more or less likely to occur in the future.
Topics for Parent Training
Training should be tailored to meet the needs of your child and family, but these topics should be included:
✔ Basic ABA principles including interventions for both skill acquisition and behavior reduction
✔ Data review and problem solving
✔ Homework
Crisis of the Day
When should you talk to your BCBA® about problem behavior at home?
You may feel tempted to start every session with a list of concerns or maybe you feel that things are fine at home and don’t know what to talk about. Either way, avoid focusing on the COD (crisis of the day) and instead focus on learning the fundamentals and staying on-track with your treatment plan.
Of course, you should discuss a true crisis with your BCBA® immediately, but by sticking with the topics you choose with your BCBA®, you will continue to expand your understanding of ABA and become more independent in managing crises as they appear.
Training Should Include
Basic ABA Principles
✔ As you will see in future lessons, ABA provides a unique way of looking at behavior. Every parent training session should include ABA strategies and interventions for you to practice at home. Building these skills allows you to expose your child to ABA even when he's not in services. This magnifies the benefits of ABA services and leads to far greater success.
ABA Interventions
✔ Take the time to learn the interventions used during ABA services. These interventions should address both skill acquisition and behavior reduction needs. It might feel either overwhelming or unnecessary at first, but interventions are the key to success.
Data Review
✔ No matter who collects the data, set aside some time during each parent training session to review recent data. Look for trends or changes in the direction of the data. Identify which skills your child needs more help with.
Problem Solving
✔ This is a good time to bring up any recent struggles you experience at home. Answer the following questions:
- What have been the biggest challenges at home since the last meeting?
-What skills has he mastered?
-Which interventions are easiest for you to implement?
-Where have you struggled to follow the plan?
Homework
✔ Leave every parent training with at least one thing to practice at home between meetings. Using these interventions and strategies at home exponentially increases your child's exposure to ABA and will lead to far greater results for your child. There's no doubt that you feel as though you have enough to do at home. Raising children is hard, but raising a child with special needs or behavioral challenges often feels overwhelming.
Goals
Actively participate in goal development for your child, even if you're not sure what would make a "good" goal. We discuss this process in detail in another lesson, but this is a vital piece of treatment. During each parent training session, discuss current goals, progress toward those goals, relevance of the goals, and any new goals. Cover this information quickly. This part is a simple check-in to make sure treatment progresses as expected.
Don’t spend hours analyzing the data from the BCBA®. That’s her job, let her handle it. What you need to know is whether progress is on track on not. If it is, great, move on. If not, talk about what obstacles prevent the progress you expected.
As goals become mastered work with the BCBA® to determine how best to help your child generalize (use) the skill at home. Identify new goals as your child’s skills and behavior improve but avoid the temptation to continually add new goals. The number of goals appropriate for your child depends on many different factors:
✔ Amount of direct service hours she receives
✔ Resources available during sessions (i.e. presence of peers to work on social or group skills, availability of powerful reinforcers, etc.)
✔ Your fluency with ABA principles
✔ Type of skills being taught (i.e. concrete vs. abstract, simple vs. complex, etc.)
✔ Your child’s own rate of skill acquisition
✔ The degree to which your child’s maladaptive behavior interferes with skill acquisition programs
Parent Training Is About You!
You can:
✔ Start small: If you feel overwhelmed already, ask for a small, simple assignment. Many of the principles of ABA require a shift in perspectives and a slightly different response to behavior than you're used to. These are often simple to implement at home.
✔ Challenge yourself: If you're up for the challenge and ready to make a dramatic difference in your child's life, ask for a longer list of assignments. How can you use some of the strategies at home that are successful in ABA?
Allow for changes to happen over time.
Your ability to complete assignments between meetings will likely shift over time. As you begin to experience success with interventions, you may want to tackle something a little more challenging. When your family experiences change, you take a trip, or have an important event, you may need to pull back and keep the assignments simple. Communicate this with your BCBA® so he knows what you feel you can handle.
Setting Effective Goals
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ABOUT THIS LESSON
Setting goals is an important first step in accomplishing anything. Goals set a direction and destination. They help determine progress. Without them, there's no way to know if you accomplished what you set out for.
Goals in an ABA program are no different. Although there are many different methods for setting goals, the SMART method provides a memorable process that makes setting effective goals easy. SMART stands for:
✔ Specific
✔ Measurable
✔ Achievable
✔ Realistic
✔ Time-bound
When setting goals, consider both long- and short-term goals. Break up complex goals into smaller, more attainable steps.
References
Lawlor, K. B. (2012). Smart goals: How the application of smart goals can contribute to achievement of student learning outcomes. In Developments in business simulation and experiential learning: Proceedings of the annual ABSEL conference (Vol. 39).
ABA Strategies that Stick
ABOUT THIS LESSON
Parenting is already a full-time job, and adding ABA strategies to your daily life can feel overwhelming. It might seem like just one more thing on an already long to-do list. But here’s some good news: by building habits, ABA strategies can become a natural part of your routine, not something extra to worry about.
Think about it: brushing your teeth, setting the table, or saying goodnight—these are habits. You don’t need to remind yourself to do them because they’re just part of what you do every day. What if using ABA strategies could feel the same way?
In this lesson, you’ll learn how to:
✔ Identify routines where ABA strategies naturally fit.
✔ Build habits one small step at a time.
✔ Use simple reminders and reinforcement to stay on track.
By the end of this lesson, you’ll see that ABA isn’t about working harder—it’s about working smarter.
Why Habits Matter
Habits allow us to do things without thinking. They save time and energy, which is especially important when life gets busy. When ABA strategies become habits, they’re easier to use consistently. And consistency is the key to helping your child learn new skills and reduce problem behavior.
Research shows that consistent use of ABA strategies improves outcomes for children (Bearss et al., 2015). But consistency doesn’t mean perfection. Small, repeated actions add up to big changes over time.
Step 1: Anchor ABA Strategies to Existing Routines
Start by identifying daily routines you already follow. These routines provide a natural “anchor” for new strategies. For example:
✔ Mealtime: Prompt your child to communicate before handing over their favorite snack.
✔ Bedtime: Use reinforcement for following the bedtime routine.
✔ Transitions: Practice giving a countdown before leaving the house.
Anchoring strategies to existing routines ensures they happen at predictable times, making them easier to remember and implement.
Activity:
Write down three daily routines and think about one ABA strategy you could add to each. For example:
Routine --> ABA Strategy
Morning Dressing --> Reinforce dressing independently
After-School Snack --> Prompt communication before serving food
Bedtime --> Use a visual schedule for bedtime steps
Step 2: Shape One Small Change at a Time
Trying to change too much at once can feel overwhelming. Instead, start small. Focus on one strategy in one routine for a week or two. Once it becomes second nature, add another.
For example:
Week 1: Focus on prompting communication during snack time.
Week 2: Add reinforcement for completing the bedtime routine.
Week 3: Practice transitions using a countdown during school drop-offs.
Gradual changes build confidence and make it easier to stick with new habits.
Activity:
Choose one routine and one strategy to practice this week. Write it down and keep it somewhere visible.
Step 3: Reinforce Yourself for Success
Just like your child needs reinforcement, you do too! Positive feedback helps you stay motivated to build new habits. Here are some ways to reinforce yourself:
✔ Track Progress: Use a checklist or app to mark each day you successfully use an ABA strategy.
✔ Celebrate Wins: Treat yourself to something enjoyable—a cup of coffee, a relaxing bath, or a favorite TV show—when you’ve met your goal for the week.
✔ Acknowledge Effort: Take a moment at the end of each day to recognize what went well. Even small successes count.
Overcoming Common Barriers
Building habits isn’t always easy, especially when life gets hectic. Here’s how to address common challenges:
✔ Forgetting to Implement: Use visual cues like sticky notes or phone alarms to remind yourself of new strategies.
✔ Feeling Overwhelmed: Start small and focus on one change at a time. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
✔ Competing Priorities: Remember that consistency matters more than rigid routines. Flexibility is okay.
Activity:
Write down one barrier you might face and a plan to overcome it. For example:
Barrier --> Plan
Forgetting to Implement --> Set an alarm on my phone before snack time
Feeling Overwhelmed --> Focus on just one strategy this week
Making ABA a Natural Part of Your Life
Building habits takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. When ABA strategies become part of your daily routines, they’re easier to use consistently. Over time, you’ll find yourself implementing them without even thinking about it.
Remember:
✔ Anchor strategies to routines you already have.
✔ Focus on one small change at a time.
✔ Reinforce yourself for your efforts.
These small steps create big changes for your child and your family. By building habits, you’re not just supporting your child’s progress—you’re creating a smoother, more enjoyable daily life for everyone.
Homework:
Choose one ABA strategy to focus on this week. Write it down and note how you plan to anchor it to an existing routine. Practice it every day and track your progress. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small!
References:
Bearss, K., Johnson, C., Smith, T., Lecavalier, L., Swiezy, N., Aman, M., ... & Scahill, L. (2015). Effect of parent training vs parent education on behavioral problems in children with autism spectrum disorder: A randomized clinical trial. Jama, 313(15), 1524-1533.
Understanding ABA-ABA Basics
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ABOUT THIS LESSON
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a scientifically driven method of teaching skills and reducing problem behavior. Although commonly associated with autistic children, the principles of ABA apply to everyone. ABA focuses on understanding and applying the basic laws of behavior. These laws apply no matter who you are and are as reliable as the law of gravity.
But how can you as a parent use this to help your child? This lesson focuses on the basics of ABA to provide you with a foundation that will be important as we dig deeper into these concepts as we move through the training.
Download the companion guide and use it to follow along with the video to learn more about what you can expect from parent training.
Sustainable Parenting
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ABOUT THIS LESSON
Parenting a child with significant support needs can be incredibly demanding—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Many parents feel exhausted, isolated, or overwhelmed. You may find yourself putting your own needs last, simply trying to get through the day.
You’re not alone. And your well-being matters. Research shows that when caregivers are supported, outcomes improve for children too. This guide offers practical, realistic ways to care for yourself—even when time and energy are limited.
Self-care doesn’t have to mean taking a break or finding extra time. Sometimes, it’s about small, intentional shifts that give you space to breathe, reset, and reconnect with what matters most.
Why This Matters
When you take care of your own emotional and physical health:
✔ You’re more able to respond calmly during stressful moments
✔ You model healthy coping strategies for your child
✔ You’re more likely to stay consistent with strategies over time
✔ You feel more connected, supported, and capable
References
Blackledge, J. T., & Hayes, S. C. (2006). Using acceptance and commitment training in the support of parents of children diagnosed with autism. Behavior Therapy, 37(3), 405–419. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2006.04.005
Borelli, J. L., Nelson-Coffey, S. K., River, L. M., Birken, S. A., & Moss-Racusin, C. (2017). Bringing work home: Gender and parenting correlates of work-family guilt among parents of toddlers. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 26(6), 1734–1745. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-017-0693-9
Torbet, S., Proeve, M., & Roberts, R. M. (2019). Self-compassion: a protective factor for parents of children with autism spectrum disorder. Mindfulness, 10, 2492-2506.
Weiss, J. A., Wingsiong, A., & Lunsky, Y. (2014). Defining crisis in families of individuals with autism spectrum disorders. Autism, 18(8), 985-995.
Ethical Considerations for Parents
ABOUT THIS LESSON
Why Ethics Matter in Parenting and ABA
Parenting a child with unique needs comes with incredible joys—and sometimes, difficult decisions. You want to support your child’s growth, help them succeed, and make sure they feel safe, understood, and respected. But sometimes it’s hard to know the right thing to do, especially when different professionals give different advice or when something just doesn’t feel right.
In recent years, more and more autistic adults have spoken out about their experiences with ABA and how certain strategies made them feel. Some described feeling pressured to act a certain way just to be accepted. Others shared that their needs were ignored in the name of “compliance.” These stories matter—and as a parent, hearing them can be confusing, even overwhelming.
This lesson isn’t about blaming anyone or creating fear. It’s about giving you the tools to make confident, informed, and compassionate choices. You’ll learn how to balance behavior goals with your child’s autonomy, recognize when a strategy might need to be adjusted, and feel empowered to speak up if something doesn’t align with your values. Most importantly, you’ll walk away with a clearer understanding of how to support your child with care, dignity, and respect.
You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to stay open, thoughtful, and willing to learn.
Listening to Autistic Voices
As a parent, it’s natural to want guidance from professionals. But it’s equally important to listen to those who’ve actually experienced the interventions we use—especially autistic adults who were once children in ABA programs.
In recent years, many autistic people have shared concerns about traditional behavior strategies. Some describe being taught to ignore their own discomfort, mask their true selves, or comply with demands that felt distressing or confusing. While ABA has evolved over time, it’s critical that we understand where these concerns come from—so we don’t unintentionally repeat the same mistakes.
To hear these perspectives directly, consider watching this short video by autistic advocate Chloe Everett titled The Problem with Applied Behavior Analysis. In the video, Chloe speaks candidly about how certain strategies—especially when focused only on surface-level behavior—can cause long-term harm, even when everyone involved had good intentions.
You don’t need to agree with everything you hear. But staying open to these experiences allows you to be a more compassionate and thoughtful advocate for your child.
Autistic voices don’t speak for every individual, but they offer valuable insights into how we can create support plans that respect a child’s identity, communication style, and autonomy. Instead of focusing only on “fixing” behaviors, we can shift toward understanding the reasons behind them—and building a system of support that honors the whole child.
Kids Do Well If They Can
It’s easy to look at certain behaviors—like hitting, yelling, or refusing to follow instructions—and assume the child won’t behave. But what if the real issue is that they can’t?
Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, a clinical psychologist and expert in collaborative problem-solving, offers a powerful reminder: “Kids do well if they can.” That simple phrase shifts the focus from control and compliance to skill-building and support.
If your child is struggling, it doesn’t mean they’re being defiant or manipulative. It means something is getting in the way of them meeting expectations. That “something” might be a language barrier, difficulty with transitions, sensory overwhelm, anxiety, or a skill they haven’t developed yet.
Watch this brief video clip of Dr. Ablon explaining this concept in a way that’s both relatable and hopeful: Kids Do Well If They Can
When we approach our children with curiosity instead of blame, we’re more likely to uncover what they need—and how to help them succeed without shame or fear.
ABA done well doesn’t push a child to “perform” better—it teaches them the skills they need to thrive. That might include emotional regulation, communication, flexibility, or learning how to ask for a break. And it should always be done in a way that’s gentle, respectful, and centered on the child’s needs.
Balancing Autonomy and Compliance
As a parent, one of your biggest responsibilities is teaching your child how to safely navigate the world. That often means setting limits, creating structure, and encouraging your child to follow expectations. But at the same time, your child deserves autonomy—the ability to make choices, express preferences, and say “no.”
So how do you find the balance?
It starts with understanding the difference between skill-building and control. Teaching your child to brush their teeth or follow a bedtime routine is important. But if we push too hard—especially when the child isn’t ready—we risk turning everyday routines into power struggles. The goal isn’t to force compliance; it’s to build cooperation through mutual trust and respect.
Let’s take a simple example. You want your child to get dressed independently. If they resist, you might be tempted to use rewards or consequences to get them moving. But what if, instead, you paused to ask:
Are they overwhelmed by the task?Do they understand the steps?Do they want to pick their own clothes and feel more in control?Is there another reason they don't want to get dressed?
Respecting autonomy doesn’t mean letting your child do whatever they want—it means taking their perspective seriously. It means offering choices when possible, building routines together, and using gentle prompts instead of pressure. And it means listening to “no” when it shows up—not as the final answer, but as a signal that something needs to be addressed.
This is especially important in ABA. Some critics of ABA raise concerns that too much focus is placed on compliance—on getting children to follow instructions without question. That’s why it’s essential that ABA programs are guided by compassionate professionals who prioritize assent, choice, and respectful teaching practices.
As a parent, you are your child’s first advocate. And one of the best things you can advocate for is
balance
—helping your child meet necessary expectations while still honoring their unique needs, preferences, and voice.
Recognizing and Responding to Sensory Needs
Many autistic children experience the world in ways that are deeply impacted by their sensory systems. What might seem like a minor irritation to one person—a buzzing light, the tag on a shirt, the texture of certain foods—can be overwhelming or even painful to another.
If a child avoids handwashing, covers their ears in crowded places, or melts down during transitions, it’s easy to assume they’re being defiant or noncompliant. But often, these behaviors are a response to discomfort or overstimulation.
Understanding sensory needs means shifting from “How do I make my child do this?” to “Why is this hard for them right now?”
Watch this video to get a sense of what your child might experience if they are sensitive to the sounds around them.
Sometimes the solution is environmental—adjusting lighting, reducing noise, or allowing your child to wear noise-canceling headphones. Other times it’s about building tolerance slowly, like gradually introducing new textures or practicing a routine in a calm, predictable environment.
In either case, your child isn’t trying to be difficult. They’re trying to cope.
This is where trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming ABA overlaps with basic compassion. When behavior is a signal, our job isn’t just to stop it—it’s to listen to what it’s telling us.
✔ As you work with your BCBA®, it’s important to discuss sensory considerations when developing behavior plans. Ask questions like:
✔ Are we accounting for sensory sensitivities?
✔Can we adjust the environment instead of the child?
✔ How can we offer sensory breaks or supports throughout the day?
By recognizing and responding to sensory needs, you not only reduce challenging behavior—you also help your child feel safer, more understood, and more in control of their world.
When and How to Raise Concerns
Even when you’re working with a well-meaning and skilled team, there may be times when something just doesn’t feel right. Maybe an intervention is causing distress, a goal feels out of alignment with your child’s needs, or a strategy seems too focused on compliance rather than connection.
You are your child’s most consistent advocate—and your voice matters.
It can feel intimidating to question professionals, especially if you’re not sure what your options are. But good providers welcome your input. Ethical ABA is collaborative, not top-down.
Here are some gentle but clear ways to open the conversation:
✔ “I’ve noticed my child seems really stressed when we try this—can we talk about adjusting it?”
✔ “This goal doesn’t feel like a priority for our family right now. Can we revisit it?”
✔ “I watched a video recently that gave me a different perspective. Can we discuss how that might apply here?”
It’s okay if you don’t know the right terminology. You don’t need to have the solution—just being willing to say, “Something doesn’t feel right,” is a powerful first step.
If you ever feel dismissed or uncomfortable after raising a concern, you can:
✔ Ask for a second opinion from another BCBA®.
✔ Request a team meeting to review your child’s plan.
✔ Bring in an advocate, family member, or trusted support person.
Your instincts, experiences, and values are critical to creating a plan that truly supports your child. Ethical care means working with families, not just providing services to them.
Small Shifts, Big Impact
You don’t need to be perfect to make a difference. The most powerful changes often come from small, intentional shifts in how we interact with our children.
When you focus on connection before compliance, allow space for autonomy, and view behaviors as communication—not defiance—you’re already moving toward more ethical, compassionate care.
Here are a few simple shifts that can have a big impact:
Instead of “Stop doing that,” try:
✔ “What do you need right now?”
Instead of focusing on behavior charts, try:
✔Noticing the effort and progress, not just the outcome.
Instead of pushing through a meltdown, try:
✔ Pausing, offering comfort, and returning to the task later.
You are learning. You are growing. And that matters.
Every time you question, reflect, or advocate—even quietly—you’re shaping a better experience not only for your child but for the future of the field.
This work is hard. You don’t have to do it alone. Lean on your team, connect with other parents, and give yourself credit for showing up and asking the hard questions. That’s what ethical parenting is all about.
References
Ablon, J. S., & Pollastri, A. R. (2018). Collaborative problem solving as a treatment for serious clinical problems in youth. Journal of Clinical Psychology: In Session, 74(8), 1336–1346. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22658
Bottema‐Beutel, K., Crowley, S., Sandbank, M., & Woynaroski, T. (2021). A systematic review and meta‐regression analysis of randomized controlled trials of early comprehensive autism interventions. Autism Research, 14(3), 504–521. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.2416
Cascio, M. A., Weiss, J. A., Racine, E., & Lipsman, N. (2020). Autism, identity and the critique of behavior analysis. Journal of Medical Ethics, 46(8), 558–560. https://doi.org/10.1136/medethics-2019-105866
Leaf, J. B., Cihon, J. H., Ferguson, J. L., Milne, C. M., Leaf, R., & McEachin, J. (2022). Toward a progressive behavior analysis: Values, attitudes, and practices. Behavior Analysis in Practice, 15, 97–113. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-021-00579-8
Ne’eman, A. (2021). When disability advocacy and clinical care conflict. AMA Journal of Ethics, 23(7), E569–E575. https://doi.org/10.1001/amajethics.2021.569
Sandoval-Norton, A. H., & Shkedy, G. (2019). How much compliance is too much compliance: Is long-term ABA therapy abuse? Cogent Psychology, 6(1), 1641258. https://doi.org/10.1080/23311908.2019.1641258
Wilkenfeld, D. A., & McCarthy, A. M. (2020). Ethical concerns with applied behavior analysis for autism spectrum disorder. Kennedy Institute of Ethics Journal, 30(1), 31–69. https://doi.org/10.1353/ken.2020.0000